I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize