We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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