You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
