they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
