I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize