ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
