Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm getting married
To pizza
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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