Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
