Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry BellaDona78 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Define "chronic" masturbator.

Fav 14 1769 1830
share tweet
(619): View more from California

Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night

(323): View more from California

How mad was your dog?

Fav 12 4566 1166
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.

Fav 7 7864 1246
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though

Fav 8 6364 1343
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

He likes Jesus. Game over.

(804): View more from Virginia

Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.

Fav 14 5221 1816
share tweet
(250): View more from British Columbia

She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.

Fav 9 903 2611
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again

Fav 8 2282 932
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.

Fav 1 41 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.

Fav 0 25 62
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT