What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
