dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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