When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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