you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
