She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
