she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize