At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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