Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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