Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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