I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
