Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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