On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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