watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
