I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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