No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
