Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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