i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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