You're earring is so big in my mouth
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
