Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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