So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
