i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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