It's Friday. Sex?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
