bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
