Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
