i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
