i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
