I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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