you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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