Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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