I wannas sexs uuuuu
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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