dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
