Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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