Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
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