the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
