The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize