He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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