Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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