thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
