I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
