And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
