Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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