So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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