Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
PANTIES FOUND
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