Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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