just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
