she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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