Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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