Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
