Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
