he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The feeling are messing with the penis
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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