My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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