I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
