I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
