Duck Duck Cougar?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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