6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize