I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
